1. I often wonder if we are a farce. you and me. me and you. Somehow, something's up and just about everyone knows, but fuck that because on this little boat of life, maybe we'll be captains together, as a we. I don't hold out much hope for that scenario, but hey, a girl can dream, can't she?
2. You are most likely the most crazy person I have had the misfortune to meet. I know I'm supposed to treat you like my equal, or even give you deference, but I can't take you seriously enough to even treat you like an underling. So you are a non-entity that occasionally pops up with concerns about this and that.
3. I don't understand you. I don't understand how you've survived the world this long. You're just about the kindest person in the world to everyone else but me, i sometimes think, but then you throw me a curve ball with that comment i heard from everyone. You're proud of me, or so I hear. I wish I could hear it from you.
4. I'm convinced I'm not in love with you. That would go against everything that I stand for, and probably everything you stand for. And yet, everyone wants me to 'fess up. I admit that you intrigue me. It's your aura, your mystique, your absolute strangeness at times that keeps me coming back for more. I think I intrigue you too, its just not proper for you to say that to me. I would love to ply your brain for information that I would never know otherwise. I want to get to know you, the real you, and not the snarky bastard you fake for everyone else. I know this porcupine has a soft belly. All you gotta do is show a little skin.
4. Where have you been since you disappeared from my life? I miss your stupidity, your insightful comments that make me think you're some kind of idiot savant. I have to face the truth: I miss you. I didn't realize it, but you really do complete me. You are my other half.
5. I wish you would stop stalking me. I'm a bit creeped out at this point. You show up with your little smirk, your little insults, and I show up afraid. I attempt to laugh it off, really I do. Can't we go back to the past? Please?
6. I'm so surprised that we mesh so well. I guess we were meant to be friends. Preschool was correct. We were best friends once. Why did you turn on me? Occasionally, I think back and actually wonder. But here it seems we're back on the same plain in our sphere of friends, we get them but they don't get us too well. After all these years, we still mesh. I'm glad.
7. You need to get over him. He's not worth your strife, buddy. I should know, and our parents keep warning us about him. I think we should listen instead of trying to make our own way. It seems that everything my mother has foretold has come true. You have been my friend for a very long time in our very short life, and I think that we've gotten to the point where I should be able to tell you the truth.
8. I love you. I am concerned for you. I haven't seen you, really seen you in so long. Is life trying to tear us apart? I would attest to that.
9. God I love you. You make me so happy every week. I look forward to that day with extra joy. May I hug you? I plan to be at your Christmas dinner. But I don't know if you'll appreciate that.
10. I miss you. You have a piece of my soul with you, 760 miles away. I miss your smile, your stupid jokes, your horrible pink/yellow shirt. I know you're growing up, and so am I, but don't go without me!!
nine things about yourself.
1. I love laughing, but it's also a defense mechanism against awkwardness.
2. I'm not always so nice. People find this hard to believe.
3. I'm actually really smart (sounds really hubristic). Sometimes I forget this, especially at such a challenging school.
4. I am whatever you want me to be. I can be whoever you want, within a few boundaries.
5. I have no sense of self. Or if I do it's very small, and based on other's expectations.
6. When I want something done and you're not doing it, I am a bitch.
7. I am one of the most unadventurous people I know.
8. I have crises of self every month.
9. I like most of you who read this. Unless I don't.
eight ways to win your heart.
1. be kind
2. be smart, knowledgeable in something I might not know.
3. be personable, able to talk to me all night.
4. be comfortable with me and yourself.
5. sing to me
6. appreciate my wacky sense of self/humor
7. accept me, but hold me to a high standard.
8. be my friend.
seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. oh sweet jesus christ
2. shit i'm so fucked...again.
3. is this going to end soon?
4.
5. i am sketchy
6. god i want to sleep.
7. it's just too... something right now.
six things you do before you fall asleep.
1. shower
2. facial stuff
3. check firstclass compulsively
4. pre-comb my hair
5. pack my bag
6. think about the day
five people who mean a lot.
1. Mommy
2. Grandma
3. Hannah B
4. Travis
5. T-bear
four things you're wearing right now.
1. jeans
2. head scarf
3. trick or treat shirt
4. no socks
three songs that you listen to often.
1. heart's desire- juanita bynum
2. sinnerman- nina simone
3. who will love me in winter- van hunt
two things you want to do before you die.
1. really be in love with someone who is in love with me.
2. be a prolific writer
one confession.
i'm in love with the world.
1 comment:
i can relate to both #4's
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