Geography lesson

Dear Guyana Media Critic,

Where the heck did you go to?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I forgot to mention: I'm Guyanese! REPRESENT GT. Which means that on Labor Day, I hike myself over to Eastern Parkway and throw up my flags. I've only been to Guyana once, but what I saw there was pure craziness. It's a Third World country rife with all the problems that Third World countries tend to have: lack of viable economies, lack of water, lack of sewage drainage, lack of roads, lack of air conditioning (problematic as it's always at least 70 degrees there). Before I confuse the readers more, I should mention a couple of things.

1. Guyana is in South America; it is not Ghana, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Equatorial Guinea, or New Guinea. 

2. Guyana is the only official English speaking nation on the South American continent; do not expect these people to break out in Spanish or Portuguese. Granted, the Creolese (which is what Guyana bruk-up language is called) dialect is difficult to understand, particularly the phraseology, but it is English.

3. Guyana is made up mostly of East Indians and Afro-Americans. This makes for some strange mixtures of people we like to call "dougla" (Indian/Blacks), and a lot of animosity between the two races. I am a part of the Afro-American diaspora there, so don't get any ideas about my Hindi speaking abilities. Also, there are quite a number of random types there: Portuguese leftovers, Chinese from way back during the boom of rice and sugar, and of course, the few Native American (called Amerindian further south) tribes that live in the middle of nowhere on the Guiana savanna (yes there is a savanna and there are jaguars). It is not uncommon to see someone who you swore was some type of Asian break out in full-out Guyana Creolese: even the lady at the Chinese food store had a Guyanese accent!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyways, now that there's a little education, it's time for some groaning. 

Guyana Media Critic, one of the foremost bloggers in Guyana, is heavily immersed in the politics of our grand old country while still able to critique the news reporters and their lack of professionalism. He is witty, on point, and currently missing from the Internet. I'm putting out a search! Where are you? His blog is currently unavailable and has been since last week. Perhaps it was the story that he posted that was actually a lie, as he was later informed. Poor guy, he took the word of one of his sources who was told by someone who wanted to stir up some trouble. It was related to the bank crisis down there, but I never actually saw the story, since he took it down immediately after he found out it was false and apologized. This was probably the proverbial straw that broke the government or someone else's back. GMC, as he is called, is usually impeccably placed and has a knack for being always right and always edgy about it. I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't come back. How am I going to hear all the crazy stories of His Highness President Jagdeo and his SUVs? How else am I going to hear about Mashramani and the reigning monarch of soca? COME BACK GMC!!!